This past sunday I went to a new church which a friend of mine suggested I tr out. So I asked one of my  friends to check it out with me. It was the first time I’d been to church since last April I believe and it was with the friend I was going with Gary. It wasn’t a long drive out there took about 20 minutes to get from Fed way to Tacoma. When we pulled in there was a man directing traffic and showed us where to park. When we got out he told us to enjoy ourselves and that it was a good sermon. It was kinda nice everyone there seemed very warm and welcoming to us. The place was huge though bigger than I normally would like but it wasn’t intimidating, like I said they were very welcoming. We sat in the back and just looked around from our seats as everyone piled in. We just talked while we waited for the service to begin.  It wasn’t too long before it did about 5 minutes after we had gotten seated.

The service started with the band playing some music. I didn’t know the song but I enjoyed the band itself you could just tell how passionate they were about their music as they played it. During one of the later songs you could really feel God’s presence in that place it was pretty amazing.  After the first song one of the pastors came up I think he was the pastor for the youth group there. He shared everything that would be going on that week for him and the series of sermons coming up for the church. He seemed like a nice guy.  After he did his announcements the band started up again. Once again I didn’t recognize the song but I liked the feel of the band and their energy was infectious. I think if we continue to go there I’ll pick up on the songs they play there. During the middle of their ‘set’ I guess you would call it the main pastor came up and did a prayer and prayed for certain people who had asked him to. After the prayer they played one more song and the sermon started.

I enjoyed the sermon quite a bit. It had three things attached to it influence, fear  and there was a third thing but for the life of me I can’t remember it. He preached about how Satan is afraid of the influence we could have on others by introducing Jesus to those who need him. That we need to do that more than we do. He said that 70 percent of churches last year didn’t save one person. He said that we could be such an influence on others but people can have fear attached to that influence. There was a teacher that was killed her recently she was a christian woman and had actually attended the church we were at. The pastor said how all she wanted was to be a good christian influence on others. At her funeral he said 17 people were saved from the experience. That satan hadn’t won by taking her from this world that she was the influence she always wanted to be on others. Which I thought was pretty amazing that even though her death was tragic it brought the people she loved together and it even saved some of them.

The fear aspect of the sermon came after this. He was saying how many want to be an influence but fear plagues them. Fear that they won’t be able to convey the word of God correctly to others. Or those who actually die because they are christian or get attempts on their life from it. He brought up this man who lives in the middle east. He’s the son of  the head of Hamas which is a terrorist group there. The kind that wants to wipe out christians and Israel all together.  Said he was saved by a cabbie that shared the word of God with him and asked him to his bible study. That satan wants to go after those of influence whether it’s a school teacher or even just a cabbie he wants us to stop spreading God’s word.  This man who lives in the middle east could be a daily target just cause he loves God. So he was basically saying others are afraid to be an influence because of the fear that they may be hurt or killed over that fact.

It’s so true we could all be such an influence to others if we really wanted to be let God’s word spread like wildfire to others around us. Anyway I just really enjoyed his sermon he’s a really good pastor and the sermon was interesting I wasn’t bored one bit. Gary and I decided to go back this sunday and if we like it then to see if we want to continue going . Hopefully we both do. It was just a great experience and the best Sunday I’ve had in a long time.



I’m starting to lose my mind living here. I ‘m sick of living with people who don’t get I just want to be left alone. Shawn is complaing to Carrie that he’s bored cause I’m always in my room and I told him I’m like this even at home. That I’m not going to change who I am  for them. Also I’m sorry he is such a child and needs to have a baby sitter to keep him entertained all the damn time. I’m an introvert I wanna be left alone and all I get is grief for it and it makes me feel bad and I know I shouldn’t but it does. Just wish they’d understand my need to just be by myself.  I’m also really sick of them making me feel bad about myself about the decisions I make. Like my bathroom is bigger so they put the damn litter box in my bathroom and its smells ALL.THE. TIME.  So I use febreeze on it and I’m getting crap for it I don’t know what to do bout this tiny crap anymore its driving me mad. Oh and Shawn says that that bathroom isn’t mine I just use it and I told him I pay for that bathroom its mine. Not that he listened but whatever used to his crap by now. Just sick of the double standards around here I can’t play music too loud cause it bothers them yet right now Carrie is blaring music in her room and I’m trying to study I ask them to lower it but they don’t this happened last week and asked them to lower it and got nothing. Just lucky she gets bored with music and goes off eventually. I’m seriously in the most un healthy living situation to date and its really starting to drain on me. Just 4 months and some change left…just wish I could fast-forward time and get there already.


I am seriously counting the days till I leave this apt and am able to go back to the apartment complex I wanted to leave in the first place. I have another 170 days here and thats if I stay the whole month in July and I’m starting to think I don’t want too. As I’ve said before I live with two roomies and they are married and I’ve said before I love Carrie but can’t stand Shawn and seriously that continues to stay true as each day passes. The more I live here the more I don’t care about Shawn’s crap and how even the tiniest thing pisses him off. He recently found out after this lease I’m getting the hell out of here. Ever since he’s been trying to get me to stay with no avail. I’ve said no each time but it hasn’t stopped him from continuing to ask me to stay. He wants me to go halfies with them with a condo instead of a apt. Also this condo would have an extra room he wants to rent out and says we could split the profit now if I actually wanted to stay living with them I might consider it but since I can barely stand living with him right now its just ridiculous. He seems desperate to keep me here with them when its the last thing I wanna do.

He also keeps trying to tell me all the negative things about me leaving and living on my own. I know its a bunch of crap too all he spews is crap. He’s just trying to discourage me from leaving them and he won’t have his meal ticket any longer. I honestly don’t know how Carrie deals with him and actually wants to be in a relationship with him. He is the most immature moody man-child I’ve ever come across. Today he got all pissy because he couldn’t come with Carrie and I to Lynwood. He said he was bored at home and how he had nothing to do. All I could think was maybe if you tried getting a damn job you might not be so bored all the time you lazy ass. But I just kept my mouth shut I know better than to interrupt a fight between them. Carrie wanted to drive and it was out errand to run but he wanted to go so Carrie caved and said he could come but then he started putting rules on the trip like how we had to take his car,he got to drive this led them to fight for another 10 minutes. After which Carrie once again conceded she then brought up if she couldn’t drive she was going to read. I said if Carrie was going to read so was I would help me catch up on my reading anyway.

Shawn then says he’s not going cause he doesn’t want to be driving if no one is talking to him. Just a side note this guy is VERY needy he seriously can’t be alone has to have someone with him all the time so us reading is something normal to Carrie and I to him we are letting him be bored as he drives. He is such a child I can’t stand it anyway he says he’d rather be bored at home than be bored on the freeway. So after we wasted a good half hr with Carrie trying to compromise with him he ends up not going anyway. I swear she acts more like his mother than girlfriend some times trying to calm down the agitated and annoyed man-child that he most of the time when he doesn’t get his way.  Carrie makes it easier for me to live out my lease here but its days like today just make me really count the days till I’m out of this mad house. To get away from Shawn and his immature lazy ass. Only 170 days to go…..


Relief is such a wonderful thing. To get something off your chest, to remove something that has weighed on your shoulders. I finally got a chance to talk with Carrie my roomie or as I like to call the good roomie. As usual she was awesome and impartial. She never seems to take sides. Its hard to get Carrie alone to talk because Shawn is constantly buzzing around her so I thought I need to catch her before she gets into the house. So  today I went to lunch with my good friend Ian and we talked about my situation. He also offered to keep me occupied till 3:30  God Bless Him. He’s s true friend. anyway 3:30 thats when I needed to be dropped off. So I could wait at the bottom of the steps and catch her before she made it inside. I’m sitting there waiting for Carrie to get up I swear the time was passing by so slowly.

Finally four o clock rolls around and I see Carrie pull into the parking lot and take a deep breath. and I swear there was NO movement in the apt until Carries truck came rolling in. Not even two seconds after she pulls in friggin Shawn comes out of the apt sees me and waits to greet her which he never does BTW I was so pissed I wasn’t sure if he’d done this on purpose or if I had the worst luck in the whole damn world. So I go upstairs fuming but make sure Carrie doesn’t notice but basically putting a hole in the back of shawn’s head as we go up the steps. I was so angry I figure I don’t wanna wait to talk about this any more damnit. I see Carrie going over the bills and I remember we had to see the leasing office for a late fee. I figure i get her out there without the annoying schmuck and afterwards I pull her to the side to talk.

After we dealt with the leasing office I pull her over and tell her I need to talk to her about something. She looked worried so I knew I needed to keep my emotions in check. I first asked her why Shawn was so mad at me cause I didn’t do anything. She then tells me Shawn is frustrated by the little crap he just needs to get over. Now I’m glad she said that means she’s annoyed Shawn can’t get over the tiny crap either. I told her about how Shawn said I was greedy for keeping my snacks in my room the ones my mother sent me I also told her I don’t regret keeping them in my room. She then tells me she doesn’t mind I do that either never has. I love this girl she is just on my side even when Shawn is involved and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. Then and there I decide I can’t screw her over by just leaving but I’m so the hell out of here the minute this lease is over. But Carrie is too good of a friend to abandon in the middle of our lease.

Anyway I ask her why he’s being such a pissy pot she says he’s mad about a previous shopping trip we went on. Let me explain last week Carrie comes to my room asks if I wanna go to wal-mart with her. One because she knows I like to get out of house when I can and that I like to pick up snacks when we go. So I tagged along cause I wanted to go for those two reasons. All I knew about this trip was Carrie was going to get some food with the money she had which was 16 bucks I was just tagging along for company thats all I knew. So I now learn he’s mad I didn’t contribute my own 16 bucks to the pot for shopping. Now I have no prob putting my half for shopping no prob at all but I need to be told so. He’s mad I got my own food and didn’t contribute to Carrie’s shopping list.

So I tell her that is not my fault or problem. How am I supposed to be sorry for something I knew nothing about? He can’t be mad at me for not telling me in the first place. I told her next time tell me if you need help with shopping I’m more than willing to help but he can’t be mad at me for something I had no idea about. Carrie agreed and said she would talk to him. And even if he doesn’t believe her I don’t give a crap cause really at this point I only care what Carrie thinks because she’s the one who treats me with respect so she’ll be the only one I’ll give it too and talk to. I don’t care if he doesn’t talk to me for the rest of my days here. He doesn’t deserve me talking to him I just needed to speak my peace about him to her.  This friday when we go shopping I’m going to tell her once this lease is over I am O. U. T.  so out! that I love her as a friend but I can’t live with Shawn.

So I’m just going to live out my lease and most likely go back to Surprise Lake they have a student things going on over there that if you are a student and do not have a job you can get an apt over there if your parents co-sign it. Now I just tell my parents that and hope they do that for me 🙂 Considering how much they hate me living here pretty sure they will. I’m hoping that I’ll have a job by then but if not I won’t have to worry bout  an apt. So I just feel relieved that we talked and that I’m just letting go of giving a crap about that assy douche formally known as Shawn. Till next time


 This is my first post on here and I’m sure it won’t be my last especially with the roomies I have at the moment. Back in in May I decided to live with my friends who are a married couple BTW and they are my age and we pretty much spent all our time together anyway. I mostly spent my time with Carrie she is the closest thing I have to a real best friend here so really I was just friends with Shawn by association. Anyway it seemed logical that we should move in together. One I wanted to get out school housing they were over charging me and bouncing me all over the place. Carrie needed help with her bills if she only had to pay half the rent the other half could go to bills and what not. So really we were helping each other out by moving in together. So I moved out of school housing and put my belongings in storage for the summer while they looked for a place. Finally in August they found a nice place and moved all my stuff into my room to be unpacked when I got back in September.

Honestly I wasn’t sure what it was going to be like to live together I really didn’t but I thought it would be better than what I’d had before. Which were awful roomies one after another. I thought ‘Yay! I’ll be living with people I actually like’ and it was ok at first till they started nit-picking everything I did. Even the tiniest thing seemed like it was an offense. Really it’s mostly Shawn my best buddies Hubby I swear he is SO damn picky. Here’s a list of crap I’ve had to deal with since I started living here. 

 1. I’m not allowed to spray any air freshener at all in the apt even if it stinks. It has to be confined to my room because Shawn doesn’t like air freshener.

2. I’m not allowed to have any type of candles in the living either because Shawn might not like the smell. 3. I’m not allowed to have my radio on a night because they said they could hear it through the wall. (I had it at like 15 at first but dropped it to like

3 )and they still said they could hear it which I thought was B.S. there was no way they could hear something SO low in their room. I slowly started putting it back on and they haven’t said a word so I really think they exaggerating when they said they heard.

 4. I couldn’t have my mini fridge near the wall that was next to their room cause Shawn could hear it at night when he slept so now its in a cramped corner in my room.

 5. Shawn says I can’t have any of my friends over here especially when he’s gone because he thinks they might steal something. and I was really pissed about that one and told him me trusting them should  be enough and nobody would want his crap. but he didn’t budge I just dropped it.  But I pay HALF the rent in this place and he doesn’t contribute ANYTHING to this apt. So I should be able bring over who ever I damn well please

I just think at this point they and by they I mostly mean the douche I used to called Shawn are just bossing me around with these crazy requests. The part that drives me nuts is I wanna stand up for myself  I do but I feel I can’ You wanna know why? Because Carrie God bless her gets up every morning to drive me to class and usually asks nothing in return if she does it’s a can of soda which I can easily spare for getting up for me. I know if I lash out at sir lazy it’ll screw me over because Carrie will obviously choose Shawn over me because he is her partner and they’ve been together for over 5 yrs and we’ve only known each other a yr and half. Also I know I’ll lose my rides to school it’s already happened once .

I stood my ground against Shawn on an issue I won’t delve into because it’ll just got me hotheaded about something that has passed anyway. That next morning I went to wake Carrie up like I always do by knocking on her door I called her cell, sent her texts nothing. I could hear Shawn talking to her outside the door telling her I should walk to school. SO thats what I ended up doing and I was late to class because of it. So I feel like if I try to tell Shawn to shove it it’ll backfire on me because inevitably Carrie as much as she would do for me won’t side with me on anything concerning him no matter what. Honestly I’m just so sick of this living situation getting eaten alive for normal things by Shawn but not wanting to lash out. Really I feel like I’m living with a totally different person.

Thinking back to the Shawn I met he seems like a complete opposite of the guy I first met. I guess people who their true colors when you live with them. At this point I just want to be able to get a job so I can save up for insurance so I am able to buy a car so I don’t have to rely on Carrie for everything and feel guilty for blowing up on the putz and losing my friend for a little while and being able to have rides around. I don’t know if needing the rides this much is selfish or stupid on my part the fact that I’m willing to deal with Shawn’s crap so I don’t lose that privilege.  I just don’t know anymore I really don’t. If I could go back in time and listen to my mother and my sister bout how I shouldn’t live with them. But they were different people before I moved in with them. I do think everything happens for a reason though and God put me in this situation for a reason one I don’t know yet but I’m sure he has his reason for it.

I just wish it was just her and me living here. I mean if Shawn was gone there wouldn’t be a difference in bills or anything just no sad schmuck lying about. I don’t know how she deals with him or the fact that he won’t get off his ass and get a job. Anyway I better end this long rant and hope these blogs help me with releasing my anger and built up feelings. I hope they aren’t all this long lol and thanks to anyone who actually reads this whole thing and comments love ya for it. Till next time I suppose.